Back And Forth To Become Who We Are
by Cathook
Summary: Jack dwells on Daniel, the things they've shared and the effect he's had on Jack throughout the events leading to the formation of SG-1. Set between the movie and the series, and during the beginning of Children of The Gods.


**Summary: **Jack dwells on Daniel, the things they've shared and the effect he's had on Jack throughout the events leading to the formation of SG-1. Set between the movie and the series, and during the beginning of _Children of The Gods_.

**Spoilers** abound – but seriously, if you haven't seen _Stargate_ what are you doing here?! ;)  
I always appreciate **reviews**, so drop me a line with your opinion before you leave.

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**Back And Forth to Become Who We Are**

_He was gone. Daniel Jackson was gone. Not the way I had claimed he was gone; the way I'd said I'd made it so, but gone all the same. It broke my heart a bit. No one ever saw it; I would never let it show. Outwards I'm a soldier, without emotion, but that night after returning to Earth I actually cried. It must have been the first time since Charlie died. That geek – that clumsy, trusting, stupid, brilliant geek – had become something to me that I never expected, at a time when that very something was what I thought I neither wanted nor needed. He had become a friend. For no reason that I can understand that young man grew on me, despite the fact that I spared no time in the universe to figuratively beat him down. _

_Over those few days on Abydos I'd learned to tolerate him, even if I didn't care much for him most of that time. That is until he did the unexpected, the unwanted – and saved my life. I still can't entirely grasp how that longhaired, bottle-eyed scientist could have the guts to do what many seasoned soldiers would not. The man died for me. For _me_!_

The thought still made Jack shake his head in disbelief as he sat months later on the roof of his house, spying on the neighbors through his telescope. At the time he hadn't thought he wanted to be saved, but as the other man fell instead of him he was filled with a lately unfamiliar feeling. Gratitude – and a will to live.

_And then the crazy archeologist went and did even more, giving me an option to the suicide mission of obliterating the population of the entire planet. Together we overthrew a tyrant. I returned to Earth and spun a pretty tale to cover the fact that the people of Abydos were still alive, and that Daniel had chosen to remain there with Sha're, the wife gifted to him by the elders. _

Jack never could help but chuckle at that last thought. _I wonder how things would have turned out if it was me they had decided to give a wife._

* * *

For a full twelve months Jack enjoyed the quiet retirement that Dr. Daniel Jackson had bought for him. He wouldn't say he was happy, but at times he could forget how unhappy he was. Then a man in the neatly pressed blue dress uniform of the US air force came knocking on his door, climbing up to the roof, speaking of new events deep under Cheyenne Mountain. And Jack's lies came crashing down.

The military was planning to send another bomb to Abydos – _their usual response to an unknown threat._ Jack mentally pulled up short at the words in his mind, so unlike himself. Much more like the geek he had left on Abydos a year , and during, that mission onto an alien world he had been just like the general, advocating blowing up everything they didn't understand. _Well, I still am for the most part. _Yet here he was, telling the general – Hammond – not to send the bomb, because there were innocent people over there with nothing to do with the monsters that had come through the 'gate to Earth.

Eventually Hammond listened to Jack – _maybe the general wasn't so bad after all_ – and let him send a message to Daniel. Jack picked a Kleenex-box, knowing it was innocent enough not to tell the enemy anything. Daniel would get the joke though, a not so subtle hint to Jack's constant harassment about his allergies. No one else understood, except for maybe Kawalsky and Ferretti. Jack didn't care though. _That is one thing my time with four-eyes hadn't changed – except maybe a little bit. After Charlie died I didn't care about anything. Now I just don't care what anybody thinks_.

* * *

It wasn't long before the Kleenex-box came back through the Stargate, covered in dust and with a simple message scribbled on the side. "Thanks. Send more."

They did. They sent more than Daniel could have been expecting, judging by the uncertain look on his face when Jack and the others came through the 'gate. Soon enough though, the feast was on, with food and laughter and even some alcohol. _When I saw him there with the woman he so obviously loved he almost made a rebel out of me again. General Hammond had told me – _ordered _me – to bring Daniel Jackson home this time, but as we sat there sipping the abydonian moon-shine, I actually reflected on returning to Earth without him again. I don't understand how by just being in his presence Daniel has that effect on me; that it suddenly is so hard to just follow orders. I'm trained for obedience, but Daniel's nature of questioning everything seems to rub off on me remarkably quick. Of course, he is still much better at being disobedient than me._

_Ultimately though, the choice was taken out of my hands. The Goa'uld came to Abydos just as they had come to Earth, bringing destruction to Daniel's world by abducting Sha're. Suddenly there was nothing to stop the guy. He was determined to find her, and when I suggested his first step should be returning to Earth with me – he did. _

_The Goa'uld's visit brought new purpose to me as well, even if I wasn't any happier than Daniel to have it. Aside from Sha're the snake-heads also abducted her brother – Skaara. The boy had always been special to me. He reminded me of Charlie and in a way he became as another son to me_.

As Daniel swore to find and rescue his wife, Jack made a similar vow to retrieve Skaara from his captors, no matter what it took to do it.

_We met resistance at Cheyenne Mountain, but not more than I had been expecting. Daniel had to fight to get on the team, and fought he did – with the same low-voiced ferociousness that I remembered_. _In the end Hammond agreed and we set off to the stars to find our missing family. We could never have imagined that the search of a lifetime had only just begun. _


End file.
